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How do you prepare to meet a prospective birth mother?

Domestic adoptions often take the stance of an “open” relationship between the birth mother and adoptive family, with the biological mother choosing the parents who will raise her child. As you begin the process of preparing to welcome a child into your home, you may try to put yourself in a prospective birth mother’s shoes: what would she want to know about the people to whom she’s entrusting her child?

Choosing a home for a child is a difficult task for a biological mother, who may feel she is too young or ill-equipped to raise her child. Maybe she never wanted to raise a family. Regardless of her circumstances, be sensitive to her needs and wishes.

Keep the best interests of the mother and child in mind. No matter how well you prepare to meet a biological mother, you may or may not be the family she’s looking for and recognizing that may be part of your preparation process. Your family may not always seem like a good fit, for whatever reason. However, being genuine throughout the process will not only relieve stress from you, but also assist a birth mother in choosing what she believes to be the best possible home for her child.

Create a profile of your family

What is important to you, and what do you have to offer a child? Are you fun-loving, ready to take a child on adventures? Are you academic, excited about helping a child learn and explore the world? Are you a faith-based family, preparing to raise up a child with your traditional values?

A profile of your family may prove helpful to a prospective birth mom as she searches for a family. If you are crafty and are interested in creating your own unique profile, Pinterest may offer inspiration for how to present your family on paper. For adoptive parents with neither the skill nor interest in scrapbooking, you may order a custom adoption profile book online.  

However you decide to put your profile together, an experienced adoption attorney can help you decide on specific information to include, based upon the specifics of your case and in accordance with state laws.

Get your home ready

Though preparing your home for an adopted child may seem like an insurmountable task, you do not need to go overboard. You do not need the most expensive equipment, and purchasing all brand name items for the nursery is unnecessary. Providing a safe, secure and loving environment is what is truly vital. 

You can implement preventative safety measures such as:

  • Inserting outlet covers
  • Securing bookcases to the wall
  • Affixing edge bumpers on coffee and side tables
  • Turning down your water heater to prevent bath burns
  • Installing safety latches on cabinets and drawers

You may even choose to go so far as to secure your toilet lid in place. While you have no control over when a birth mother will select your family or when a baby is born, you can continue to offer your support to prospective birth moms, being true to yourself. Ultimately, what your adopted child needs is simply you and the love you have to offer.

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