Pregnant mothers considering placing their child for adoption have a difficult decision ahead of them. One thing that can prove beneficial in the decision-making process is the candid voices of other women who have made the choice to place a child for adoption.
An Honest Look From People Who Have Been There
In an article from Cosmopolitan, four birth mothers provide in-depth and honest answers about some of the difficult questions and issues they faced leading up to, during and after the adoption. Some of the experiences are similar, while others are dramatically different. All are enlightening.
The first topic discussed is the decision to place a child up for adoption. Each of the birth mothers was young when they were pregnant, and most were single. They saw the struggles that friends and loved ones went through raising a child, or that their own single parent went through in raising them. With this knowledge in mind and occasionally with the input of the birth father, they determined that adoption was the best decision, despite the heartbreak that most recognized would come with it.
When asked who they discussed adoption with, other than the birth father, most of the birth mothers indicated that they discussed the matter with their families. One of the biggest fears that some of the mothers interviewed had at the time was being rejected by their family, and for some that fear was realized by certain family members or friends cutting off communication with them following the adoption. Others feared having to live with regret and worried that their child would grow up to hate them.
All of the mothers stated that they still think about their child every day, and some had open adoptions and continue to have a positive relationship with the adoptive family. While some struggle with the decision, most of those interviewed still felt positive about the choice they made many years prior, though some had reservations about it.
When asked for the advice they would provide to pregnant women considering putting a baby up for adoption, the birth mothers interviewed were unanimous that women must take the time to carefully weigh the pros and cons, be realistic about their expectations for their relationship with the child and the adoptive family, read the stories of other women who have stood in their shoes and do not let anyone push them into making a decision that is not right for them.