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What to expect after adopting an older child

Most people anticipate adopting an infant; infants bring several advantages, including growing up with their adoptive parents. However, most the children in the foster care system are “older children” – child over the age of two years.

It’s critical that older children receive the same opportunity for adoption as an infant. And luckily, there are ways to help an older child transition into a new family in Florida.

Keep everything boring

It sounds like a strange tip, but children have to adjust to an entirely new lifestyle and environment after an adoption. They are coming from a foster home or agency that is completely different than what you offer.

The last thing they need is over-excitement through excessive parties, events and family introductions. What they need is time to adjust and learn in their new environment. They will bring new perspectives on how you parent and your lifestyle, so expect it to take time.

Avoid helicopter-parenting

Many parents make the mistake of suffocating their kids through excessive parenting. It’s built on the idea that we want what’s best for our kids, but we inhibit their abilities to make mistakes if we are always around them.

It’s tempting to continually check in on your adoptive child as they start adjusting to their new home. However, you need to give them space and time to transition. If you are curious about their transition, sit them down for an open conversation about school and home. It will give the parents insight on how to move forward in the family dynamic.

Treat them like a normal kid

While you want to avoid helicopter-parenting, you should still parent your child. Treat them like you would any other child by giving them chores, implementing punishments for their actions, follow a regular schedule and having fun with them in your free time.

It’s crucial to understand that these children want to be treated like kids. They want to feel the same bond to you that any biological child would, so try to create that structure and the parental relationship between you and your child. It takes time to see what styles work best for your kid, but it is worth the effort.

As stated with all these tips, time is your greatest resource. Allow time for an adjustment in your child’s life, and then you will be able to establish years of beautiful memories as a family.

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